furniture features

You wake up one morning. You walk into your living room. You stub your toe on a chair. You are confused. You notice everything in the room has changed. Your chairs are all slightly bigger. Your couch is smaller and in a different location. Your wooden coffee table has been replaced with a glass one. You turn to the internet, wondering what's going on.

The furniture company performed a rigorous study. They grabbed ten random people off the street in front of their headquarters. They showed them a picture of your living room as it was before and a CGI rendering of what it looks like now. Six of them liked the rendering better. And so, the study was complete in just fifteen minutes. The company broke into your house and rearranged your living room, your own comfort and muscle-memory be damned.

You do your best to fix your living room. You find your preferred chairs and coffe table in the trash, clean them up, and bring them back in. You can't find your old couch. You liked that couch. This couch is too small. You sigh and put the new one back where the old one used to be. Hours wasted and you're worse off than how you were yesterday through no fault of your own. You take measures to prevent the furniture company from breaking into your home again.

"But why don't you like automatic updates!?" the CEO of the furniture company cries, "You must not know how living rooms work!"